Merch
Stylish Garments, Haberdashery, Glasswares, Infernal Inventions, Conniving Contraptions, Doodads, Gizmos, Gadgets, and Contrivances.
We're planning on making the worlds most awesome beers, but in the meantime while the laboratory is being plotted and planned, you can browse our miscellany of fantastic products.
Please note: All items listed here are actually for sale on our affiliated company's website (grapeandgrain.ca), and you will be directed there to complete your transaction. And while you're there feel free to purchase some hops, or malts, or maybe a wine kit or two....
Baseball Cap, Black with Dastardly Villain Hat Logo
$25.00
Made with 100% organic washed chino twill cotton, this unstructured, low-profile custom trucker cap has a 6 panel construction and a pre-curved visor to maintain shape. A tri-glide buckle closure is included that ensures you get your perfect fit.
Embroidered with our stylish hat logo, this hat is suitable for committing all kinds of villainy. After all, a villain has to have style.
T-Shirt, Black - Dastardly Villain Gears
$27.50
Made with 100% cotton, this t-shirt offers superior comfort and features a casual fit.
This t-shirt features The Dastardly Villain gear logo on the front and the Hat logo on the back. So, people will know you're dastardly even if you're coming or going.
T-Shirt, Brown - Dastardly Villain Gears
$27.50
Made with slim fitting 100% cotton, this t-shirt offers superior comfort and features a casual fit.
This dark chocolate brown t-shirt features The Dastardly Villain Gears logo in stylish brass ink on the front. If you're a fan of steam punk, YOU NEED THIS SHIRT!
T-Shirt Biz Cool Flash, Black - Dastardly Villain Logo
$57.50
This breathable, snag resistant custom performance t-shirt delivers a comfortable fit and an athletic design with colour block stripes and a rather dashing image of our villain founder.
Its sleek aerodynamic fabric helps you escape faster from even the most persistent detectives from Scotland Yard.
BRUMATE HOPSULATOR TRÍO 3-IN-1 | BABY BLUE & WHITE (16OZ/12OZ CANS)
$35.00
Hate warm beer? We do too. The Hopsulator TRíO, the most versatile can-cooler in the world. It fits all your favorite 16oz craft cans, comes with a freezable adapter for 12oz cans, and with one quick switch turns into a 16oz pint glass.
BRUMATE HOPSULATOR TRÍO 3-IN-1 | HUNTER ORANGE (16OZ/12OZ CANS)
$35.00
Hate warm beer? We do too. The Hopsulator TRíO, the most versatile can-cooler in the world. It fits all your favorite 16oz craft cans, comes with a freezable adapter for 12oz cans, and with one quick switch turns into a 16oz pint glass.
BRUMATE HOPSULATOR TRÍO 3-IN-1 | DARK AURA (16OZ/12OZ CANS)
$35.00
Hate warm beer? We do too. The Hopsulator TRíO, the most versatile can-cooler in the world. It fits all your favorite 16oz craft cans, comes with a freezable adapter for 12oz cans, and with one quick switch turns into a 16oz pint glass.
BRUMATE HOPSULATOR TRÍO 3-IN-1 | RAINBOW TITANIUM (16OZ/12OZ CANS) (LIMITED EDITION)
$35.00
Hate warm beer? We do too. The Hopsulator TRíO, the most versatile can-cooler in the world. It fits all your favorite 16oz craft cans, comes with a freezable adapter for 12oz cans, and with one quick switch turns into a 16oz pint glass.
DASTARDLY DIRIGIBLES Card Game
$23.99
Professor Phineas Edmund Hornswoggle, famed airship builder, is retiring and you are an engineer competing to inherit the Hornswoggle factory!
Dastardly Dirigibles features tarot-sized cards that are played in a constant action format in which each time a part is added, ALL players MUST add the SAME part – which may replace an existing one. Build your airship from different parts of nine beautiful suits, while also using special cards to your advantage or to thwart your opponents. The round ends when the first airship is complete — but you score only the suit used most in your airship. The player with the highest score after three rounds wins!
GUILLOTINE Card Game
$19.99
The French Revolution is famous in part for the use of the guillotine to put nobles to death, and this is the macabre subject of this light card game. As executioners pandering to the masses, the players are trying to behead the least popular nobles. Each day the nobles are lined up and players take turns killing the ones at the front of the line until all the nobles are gone. However, players are given cards which will manipulate the line order right before 'harvesting,' which is what makes the game interesting. After three days worth of chopping, the highest total carries the day.
GET ME A FRESH BRAIN Card Game
$27.00
Congratulations! You've just completed your Evil Doctorate! Now you've moved back to the small eastern European town where you grew up to start your revenge and build your first Monster.
You have to appear to be an upstanding member of society, so you have to hire some assistants to do your dirty work. Going and getting body parts, for example. The problem is that as you're just starting out and can't pay them very much, so your assistants aren't very reliable.
Once you finally get them to bring a brain, a torso, a set of limbs, and some supplies back to your castle, you can pay off your assistants and assemble your Monster. Then you send the Monster to town to destroy the buildings that you have been using. If you can destroy enough of them, you will win the game. If there are too many Monsters and not enough buildings for that, however, the Monsters will fight to the death to determine who wins!
This is a 2 - 6 player game, for ages 12 and up, taking 30-90 minutes to play depending on the number of players. It's an action-based game, where each player chooses one action for each of their three characters each turn.
BOSS MONSTER Card Game
$27.99
Inspired by a love of classic video games, Boss Monster: The Dungeon Building Card Game pits 2-4 players in a competition to build the ultimate side-scrolling dungeon. Players compete to lure and destroy hapless adventurers, racing to outbid one another to see who can build the most enticing, treasure-filled dungeon. The goal of Boss Monster is to be the first Boss to amass ten Souls, which are gained when a Hero is lured and defeated — but a player can lose if his Boss takes five Wounds from Heroes who survive his dungeon.
Playing Boss Monster requires you to juggle two competing priorities: the need to lure Heroes at a faster rate than your opponents, and the need to kill those Heroes before they reach your Boss. Players can build one room per turn, each with its own damage and treasure value. More attractive rooms tend to deal less damage, so a Boss who is too greedy can become inundated with deadly Heroes.
Players interact with each other by building rooms and playing Spells. Because different Heroes seek different treasure types, and rooms are built simultaneously (played face down, then revealed), this means that every "build phase" is a bidding war. Spells are instant-speed effects that can give players advantages or disrupt opponents.
As a standalone card game with 155 cards, Boss Monster contains everything that 2-4 players need to play.
Death Ray
$9,999,999,999.99
Witness the fire power of our fully operational Death Ray! Now you too can zap your arch nemesis from a safe and comfortable distance. Harness the power of the ionosphere, which is sometimes referred to as "an invisible ball of energy surrounding Earth" by using our fully integrated 50-foot tesla coil. Destroy anyone or anything approaching within 200 miles! Our Diabolically clever device also provides a "wall of power" in order to "make any country or Nefarious secret laboratory, large or small, impregnable against armies, airplanes, and other means for attack". Requires a power cell of approximately two million horsepower (or about all the energy of New York City). *See optional upgrade integrated nuclear power accelerator. Variable speed and density controller provides environmentally friendly and efficient results. Many thousands of horsepower can thus be transmitted by a stream thinner than a hair, so that nothing can resist. Our Dastardly Villain brand apparatus projects particles which may be relatively large or of microscopic dimensions, enabling you to convey to a small area at a great distance trillions of times more energy than is possible with other inferior brands of death rays of any kind.
T-SHIRT ATHLETIC HEATHER - GEARS LOGO
$20.00
This customer favourite custom printed t-shirt is a durable and economical choice for any special event. Made with 100% cotton, this personalized t-shirt offers superior comfort and features a casual fit. Full colour graphics are featured here on this solid quality basic T-shirt. Get yours and be ready to do some evil science today!
T-SHIRT BLACK - FULL GEARS LOGO
$20.00
This customer favourite custom printed t-shirt is a durable and economical choice for any special event. Made with 100% cotton, this personalized t-shirt offers superior comfort and features a casual fit. Full colour graphics are featured here on this solid quality basic T-shirt. Get yours and be ready to do some evil science today!
T-SHIRT MILITARY GREEN - GEARS LOGO
$27.50
Made with slim fitting 100% cotton, this t-shirt offers superior comfort and features a casual fit. This dark chocolate brown t-shirt features The Dastardly Villain Gears logo in stylish brass ink on the front. If you're a fan of steam punk, YOU NEED THIS SHIRT!
BASEBALL CAP CHARCOAL - GEARS LOGO
$25.00
Made with 100% organic washed chino twill cotton, this unstructured, low-profile custom trucker cap has a 6 panel construction and a pre-curved visor to maintain shape. A tri-glide buckle closure is included that ensures you get your perfect fit. Embroidered with our steampunktactular gears logo, this hat is as suitable for piloting an evil dirigible as it is for working in the lab on weapons of mass villainy.
BASEBALL CAP GREY - GEARS LOGO
$25.00
Made with 100% organic washed chino twill cotton, this unstructured, low-profile custom trucker cap has a 6 panel construction and a pre-curved visor to maintain shape. A tri-glide buckle closure is included that ensures you get your perfect fit. Embroidered with our steampunktactular gears logo, this hat is as suitable for piloting an evil dirigible as it is for working in the lab on weapons of mass villainy.
BASEBALL CAP OLIVE - GEARS LOGO
$25.00
Made with 100% organic washed chino twill cotton, this unstructured, low-profile custom trucker cap has a 6 panel construction and a pre-curved visor to maintain shape. A tri-glide buckle closure is included that ensures you get your perfect fit. Embroidered with our steampunktactular gears logo, this hat is as suitable for piloting an evil dirigible as it is for working in the lab on weapons of mass villainy.
HOODIE, BROWN - DASTARDLY VILLAIN LOGO
$60.00
Ideal for the change in seasons or wearing while plotting government destabilization, this custom sweatshirt features a full zipper and unlined hood for a super cozy, relaxed style. This sweet piece of apparel features our logo in brass inks with Dr. P. D. McDastardly himself. And you know, it's good to be cozy while doing evil!
Brain Warmer (Toque)
$25.00
You have a big brain, and you need to keep it warm. How else would you be able to build all those infernal inventions if your grey matter was cold. This sweet piece of headgear features our logo in brass threads with Dr. P. D. McDastardly himself. So buy the toque, get inventing, and look stylish while doing it!
T-Shirt - Drink For Evil!
$20.00
It's a basic white t-shirt with words on it! And a swanky logo! Now you can shock, amaze, and impress your friends, neighbours and nemeses (plural of nemesis) with an honest declaration of evil intentions. Let them know you are planning evil (just don't share your evil plans) all while having a finely crafted fermented malt beverage.
Mind Control Helmets
$12,345,678.90
Yes! Now you can control your own evil henchpeople from the comfort of your own secret lair! Sit back in comfort and safety while sending forth your minions to carry out your nefarious plans. Our shiny metal headpieces will show the world that humanity is all to easily enslaved to these infernal electronic devices. Please note: Social media interfaces may interfere with remote minion cognitive reasoning and is incompatible with global domination directives. DO NOT allow drones to access social media or you will experience catastrophic network failure.
Fermented Beverage Containment Vessel
$8.00 - 16 oz Beer Can Glass
Now you too can consume our Nefarious, Diabolical and Sinister beverages from these stylish quality glasses. Emblazoned with our evil logo (in evil black), you can show your friends that you are part of our global takeover efforts through drinking better beer.
Think Dastardly! Drink Dastardly! And drink out of a Dastardly Glass!
Disclaimer: May also be suitable for other beverages but Dastardly Villain assumes no liability to compatibility issues.
Mini Me - Fermented Beverage Containment Vessel
$6.00 - 5 oz Beer Can Taster
Now you too can consume our Nefarious, Diabolical and Sinister beverages from these stylish quality glasses. Emblazoned with our evil logo (in evil black), you can show your friends that you are part of our global takeover efforts through drinking better beer.
Think Dastardly! Drink Dastardly! And drink out of a Dastardly Glass!
Disclaimer: May also be suitable for other beverages but Dastardly Villain assumes no liability to compatibility issues.
Fermented Beverage Containment Vessel on a Stick
$10.00 - 16.5 oz Muniqie Glass
Now you too can consume our Nefarious, Diabolical and Sinister beverages from these stylish quality glasses. Emblazoned with our evil logo (in evil black), you can show your friends that you are part of our global takeover efforts through drinking better beer.
Think Dastardly! Drink Dastardly! And drink out of a Dastardly Glass!
Disclaimer: May also be suitable for other beverages but Dastardly Villain assumes no liability to compatibility issues.
Scmancy Fermented Beverage Containment Vessel
$8.00 - 16 oz Revival Glass
Now you too can consume our Nefarious, Diabolical and Sinister beverages from these stylish quality glasses. Emblazoned with our evil logo (in evil black), you can show your friends that you are part of our global takeover efforts through drinking better beer.
Think Dastardly! Drink Dastardly! And drink out of a Dastardly Glass!
Disclaimer: May also be suitable for other beverages but Dastardly Villain assumes no liability to compatibility issues.
Mini Me - Fermented Beverage Containment Vessel
$6.00 - 5 oz Revival Taster
Now you too can consume our Nefarious, Diabolical and Sinister beverages from these stylish quality glasses. Emblazoned with our evil logo (in evil black), you can show your friends that you are part of our global takeover efforts through drinking better beer.
Think Dastardly! Drink Dastardly! And drink out of a Dastardly Glass!
Disclaimer: May also be suitable for other beverages but Dastardly Villain assumes no liability to compatibility issues.
Dastardly Dirigible - Personal Airship
$1,000,000 - $10,000,000
Have you ever been in traffic and dreamed about riding above it all? Well here at Dastardly Villain Brewing and Manufacturing we are planning to bring back the classic airships from the forgotten golden age of air travel!
Float along and enjoy the view in our evil and environmentally friendly lighter-than-air aircraft. The big mega conglomerates that are the airline industry, aircraft manufacturers, and petroleum companies will be brought to their knees with the re-emergence of what should have been the pre-eminent form of air travel.
So sign up early and get your very own Dastardly Dirigible! Sign Up for our newsletter and stay tuned for more forthcoming details.
Disclaimer - Dastardly Villain recommends using only helium to ensure your safety and comfort, and assumes no liability for clients using hydrogen, negligent piloting, or following local municipal bylaws.
Portable Libation Receptacle
$6.00 - 6.5 oz Trent Snifter
Share your love of Villainy with these smaller sized tasting glasses. (We know, true villains don't like to share their beer). Perfect for splitting a can of our delicious brews with 3-3 friends (or co-villains). This glass features our logo screened in white, so you can see it better while drinking our dark beers.
(Also works suitably for light coloured beers and ugh, water).
Disclaimer: May also be suitable for other beverages but Dastardly Villain assumes no liability to compatibility issues..
Portable Libation Receptacle
$7.00 - 10 oz Pilsner Glass
Share your love of Villainy with these smaller sized tasting glasses. (We know, true villains don't like to share their beer). Perfect for splitting a can of our delicious brews with 3-3 friends (or co-villains). This glass features our logo screened in white, so you can see it better while drinking our dark beers.
(Also works suitably for light coloured beers and ugh, water).
Disclaimer: May also be suitable for other beverages but Dastardly Villain assumes no liability to compatibility issues.
Exploding Spy Pen - Refurbished
$2.00
Developed originally by Q-Branch in 1995 for the top secret infiltration of the Golden-eye project, and inadvertently triggered by villainous programmer, Boris Grishenko.
Our retrofitted exploding pen simply contains ink, black as Dr. P. D. McDastardly's heart. Suitable for signing the most nefarious contracts, or to take evil notes.
And, best of all...guaranteed not to explode!
Thermal Retention Device
$5.00
Do you have a cold beverage and want to keep it that way? Well we have the answer!
Utilizing technology developed by DuPont scientists in 1930 for an insulating cover that could resist degradation and extreme conditions more than natural or synthetic rubber.
Our Dastardly Villain brand Can Koozie will keep those 355 ml cans nice and cold. Or in the case of our 473ml cans, mostly cold (so drink them faster).
All Weather Urban Assault Vehicle
$202,108.13
You live in Winnipeg. You've seen the streets. You know you need this in the winter if not the summer.
Yes get around in our own urban assault vehicle all year long. The snow plow ain't coming anytime soon, and you have villainy to mete out. You can't be stopped by something as innocuous as Winnipeg winter snow, and now with our sensible approach to getting around, you won't have to wait. Our all terrain treads will get you where you need to go.
After all - you don't need no stinking roads!
Beverage Containment and Concealment Vessel
$16.00 - 11 oz Ceramic Mug
So you brought beer to work, but are having trouble hiding it from the boss in your clear glassware? Well Dastardly Villain has created this opaque and stylish containment vessel. Drink whatever you want wherever you want with impunity! Those mindless drones in your office will ne'er be the wiser.
Logo'd on both sides with 2 different designs (only 1 shown here). And yes, you can use it for Coffee or Tea.
If you must......
Polychromatic Adhesive Insignia
$3.00 - 3" Decal
Ready to deface some public monument, nefarious establishment, another brewery or decorate your refrigerator? Well now you can can show your pride support and your great taste in beer at the same time. Glossy clear plastic repels most liquids to help ensure longevity.
Stick one somewhere inappropriate today!*
*DISCLAIMER - Dastardly Villain assumes no liability for damages or loss of business to any individual or establishment who becomes targeted in such a way. Suck it up buttercup!
Polychromatic Solar Ray Deflecting Head Protector
$25.00
Protect your grey matter from harmful solar radiation with this stylish chapeau. Extended front brim (included at no extra cost) will keep the nasty old sun out of your eyes and off your face.
Show off your pride support and great taste in quality craft beer with our brilliantly emblazoned insignia.
WARNING - do not look directly at the sun without first encasing your head in the optional brown paper defensive full coverage light blocking shield (included free at check out using the code: PUTMYHATINABAG.)
Polychromatic Pride T-Shirt
$27.50
Show off your pride with this colourfully logo'd t-shirt. "ALL FOR LOVE & BEER FOR ALL" is what we're all about. You should be able to love whoever you want - really! It has nothing to do with our plans to take over the world! And of course we want everyone to have beer, our beer! Our world dominating delicious ales!
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